So many voices trying to break out

I have so much to say,
So much that I hide,
I try to push my thoughts out,
But they push it back inside.

So many voices, trying to break out,
So many people, yet they can't hear me shout,
With nothing but mixed emotions by my side,
So many feeling, bottled up inside.                                                                

I try to listen to my head,
But they make me listen to them instead,
The whole world seems to be against me,
When I'm in sorrow, they seem to be in glee.

Every time I try to stand strong,
They push me down and tell me I'm wrong,
Every time I fix the whole in my heart,
They pierce it again, taking me back to the start.

The only reason I smile when the world is by my side
Is to disguise the pain that grows more and more inside,
Sometimes I wish I'm not alone,
That I had someone to help me through this ride,
Someone who realized that deep down inside,
I'm just not the person I pretend to be outside.

                -Shruti Perumal